Trying To Get on The Late Show

Friends,

A couple days ago, I sent in an e-request for tickets to see The Late Show with David Letterman on January 31st. I figured why not, and didn't expect to be called becuse the 31st was so close and I assumed that it would have been booked up. I was wrong.

I was doing sit-ups and the phone rang. So I scrambled up, and got to the phone in the kitchen, so I was a little winded when the person told me they were calling from The Late Show with David Letterman. Now, I knew what it was about, but it's still a little interesting to have someone politely say on the other end of the line, "This is Stacy from the Late Show with David Letterman..." And I wonder what she thought of me since I was nearly out of breath when I answered.

The process for getting tickets to the Late Show is that I have to call this guy named Keith. Then Keith asks me a Late Show trivia question, and if I get it right, I get two tickets. Oh, and the second ticket will be going to Bronson (what...he drove me to Chicago, he's earned the right). So I've called Keith three fucking times now, and each time he wasn't there, so I left him a message to have him call me back. Tell you what, that's got to be a thankless part of the day for Keith...fielding a couple hundred calls a day and asking trivia questions about if things float or whatever...I would be away from my desk too.

Now, here's the rub. The Late Show tapes two episodes on Thursday. One at 430 and another at 7:00. And I do not know which taping I may get tickets for, if Keith calls back.

In going to the Late Show with David Letterman, I will miss either the Joyce Carol Oates reading & discussion, or the John Irving Keynote Address depending on which taping. You can imagine my reticence.

What would you do? Stay at AWP, see some of the greatest living American writers, or go see David Letterman? Such choices. It's not like I'd be skipping AWP to go see Jay Leno...and Letterman has had some interesting and literary guests on before (as evidenced by below videos). But, I don't know who's going to be the guest on Thursday. Maybe it's going to be Ice Cube and Rhianna or some other people I could give two shits about...or, it could be Barack Obama and Tom Waits, which would be worth a fantastical sum of shits (that is the inverse of giving two shits, right?).

David Sedaris (Literary)


Crispin Glover (Interesting)


George Saunders (Literary)


The Mighty and Powerful Oprah (Interesting)


Viva el mustache