October 3, 2008

The Family Sixpack


Last night, The Palin said something about Joe Sixpack in between winking and mugging for the camera and aww-shucksing it up (seriously, I thought she was going to bust out a "gee willikers" for a while).

So, that got me thinking. Don't you just want to write a story about Joe Sixpack and the entire Sixpack family, and their struggles on Main Street?

Like about how Joe Sixpack's brother, Darrell Sixpack, spent some time in jail for stealing a car and now he's out, trying to get straight, but needs the help of Joe to keep him on the straight and narrow, even though Joe has his own problems with a wife, Elaine Walker-Sixpack, who wants to start a family, depsite their advanced ages (they are in their middle 40s, and have never been able to afford kids, and it is literally now or never for them). So Joe wants to make good, but he can't, and there's his mother, Ruth Sixpack, a Polish woman, survivor of the great depression, who speaks okay English and is suffering from non-Hodkins lymphoma, and she's pressuring him to be a good American, and make good on what his father started (Sixpack is, of course, the Americanized version of Sixpackoski ... the family shortened it during WW2 so not to be victimized with anti-German sentiment). And in all that tumult, Joe learns a family secret he must then reconcile.

Or, what do you see as the story of Joe Sixpack and the family Sixpack?

viva el mustache


Big Perm said...

In my story, Joe Sixpack is married to a Hackey Mam.

Luke said...

Joe Sixpack is a blue-collar worker who drinks a six pack of Bud Light every night, salutes the flag, yells at his wife to get the kids out of the living room so he can watch his programs, and falls asleep before the second commercial break of Leno. Joe wakes up one day, realizing he is fifty-five years old.