October 14, 2008

Monster Danger

Friends,

You might be surprised to learn this, but I'm on the lookout for another job. Not because I'm currently unemployed, but because I think I've lived long enough to deserve more than my current rate of pay.

So, some time ago, I created profiles for all the major job search websites like Monster, Job.com, CareerBuilder, and HotJobs, also this local jobs site called JobsInMadison. (By the way, doesn't the word "job" just sound ugly?)

Anyway, today I got a phone call from some fellow who announced that his company was expanding to Madison and wanted to interview me for a position. What company you ask? What position? Fellow on the phone didn't say right away. In fact, he sounded robotic and was clearly reading from a script of some kind.

Naturally, I'm suspicious. Robo-men cold-calling me about mysterious jobs sounds like a scam, like all those Nigerian princes who need my help getting money into this country.

I ask this guy what company he works for and it's Primerica, which to me sounded a little too much like Kramerica to be real (turns out Primerica is a real company). And that the company does marketing for CitiGroup (might be true, Primerica is a financial firm of some kind, so I doubt the validity of this claim).

Anyway, I ask the guy what kind of job I'd be interviewed for, and he didn't really give me an answer. Said after a 20 minute interview, he could then best determine what kind of position would best suit me. I asked him how he found me, again, didn't answer me instead said that, I quote, "By the time it gets to me, it's just names and numbers."

So, this guy, his company is expanding, wants to hire me, but he can't tell me what job I'm to do, nor can he tell me where he found me...and in fact, by the time he makes the calls, it's only just names and numbers on a sheet of paper? And it's his company?

Baloney.

So I humor the guy, write down all the info he gives me, and then I call the consumer protection line here in Madison because this stinks like sweaty feet wrapped in fish. I tell this truly helpful lady on the phone this story how I was cold called for a job interview by a robotic sounding man and I'm decidedly unsure about what kind of crap is going on here. Also, part of me was hoping that my little phone call would then in turn bring down this legion of scam artists because deep down, I kind want to be like a manly version Erin Brokovich.

She let me know that it was, in all likelihood, a telemarketer. Some kind of telemarketing headhunter that may get some sort of commission if I show up the interview. The lady then offered me some pretty basic advice about how if I go, don't sign anything and other such things in case this is an elaborate identity theft scheme, which it could very well be as well. No matter, I'm not going to the interview I scheduled with the guy. I'm sure he'll be disappointed, and I suppose I could go there for the sake of comedy and botch the interview in hilarious ways, but I don't want to do that.

Now, the question remains, where exactly did this person get my information? I'm willing to bet one of the career websites where I have a profile stashed, or maybe through this shady corporation in town here called MadTown Events which jerked me around just a little not long ago. Now, I've gotten LOADS of bullshit emails because I've joined those career sites, and I think the main culprit is this Job.com, which may not even be a legit site because a lot of the jobs were in the "too good to be true" category, but I applied to one job via that one, so maybe they're the villain here. So I'm frustrated that I'm going to remove all this information now, even though it may already be too late in a lot of ways because if one nefarious group had it, and I get on one magic list, my numbers will be traded around by this fucktard corporations until I move. So it's a little pointless.

Essentially, let this be a lesson to all you out there. Don't sign up for these sites unless you're ready for the predators like the guy who called me today. I didn't even know this kind of thing was tried until now. Oh well, learn from my mistake everybody.

viva el mustache

1 comment:

GMACD1 said...

Yeah Primeamerica is a load of bull any company that calls and says you can make alot of $$$$ but doesn't really offer a salary be wary of. I've went to "job interviews" for these types turns out they weren't so much an interview but an attempt to get people to sign up under them which is a pyramid scheme.Which wasn't invented by the egyptians(sp?)but seems to be the mode in which these scumbags operate.