March 9, 2009

My Mom Is Afraid of Kangaroos


My mom is frightened of kangaroos. She hates their beady little eyes, tiny forepaws, the way they all freaks her out. And she has good reason to be afraid.

Read this news story about a kangaroo home invader.

My favorite part of the story is that the man's first reaction was that a ninja had flying-kicked his way into the house, and was not, in fact, an errant bound from a kangaroo.

I can't imagine what I would do if I were to wake up to a crashing sound then find a 6 foot tall hopping and prone to boxing beast in my house. This being Wisconsin, I suppose a kangaroo is quite unlikely to be the culprit. But, doing as the man did and run up and put the kangaroo in a headlock, well, I don't know. I'd be too stupefied to be a man of action, probably would just laugh at this kangaroo who busted into my house like the Kool-Aid man. Once a bird got into my house, and I had to pause for a while to say, aloud to me and the cat, "There's a fucking bird in here!" so, getting my head around a wayward kangaroo, even in Australia, would take even more time.

viva el mustache


Bronson said...

Your mom's crotch is afraid of kangaroos.

Bronson said...

Here's what I like about the story:
- the man's name is Beat
- he surveyed the damage in his "shredded underpants"
- "At first, he (my husband) thought it was a lunatic ninja."

Ande said...

Every time we have a bat in our house (which has been with increasing frequency the last couple years) I have the following reactions in this order, generally over the span of about 30 seconds:

-"Oh shit, there's a bat in the house."

-"Huh..look at that...there's a bat in the house."

-"How do I get this bat out of the house?"

At that point, a tennis racket gets involved. I've never once mistaken a bat for a ninja.