Jason Marquis: All-Star?

Friends,

What the fuck? Jason Marquis is an All-Star? What? Seriously...what? Is that a joke to piss off Tony LaRussa and the fans of St. Louis? They didn't have to put him on the team, either. Colorado has a representative. Shit, how is Chris Carpenter not on the team but Jason Marquis is? What? Or even Carlos Zambrano or a player that really deserves it like Yovani Gallardo or Johnny Cueto. I don't care if Marquis leads the league in wins right now. First, wins is largely a meaningless stat in terms of pitching prowess since it relies equally on the offense scoring runs for you...and Marquis is getting 5.57 runs a game scored for him so it's not like he's out dueling anyone or anything. His last game was pretty good. Can't sneeze at a complete game shut out...but c'mon, think of all the stopped clocks and blind squirrels here. He's just...argh.

My god, has the crowd ever booed at the finish of an All-Star game? Has a pitcher been booed off the mound before? Probably in Philadelphia if it happens anywhere, but if it comes down to it late in the game and Marquis is pitching to anybody on the AL and gives up a home run, which isn't exactly unlikely, he'll get booed and booed by "The Best Fans in Baseball" because we've put up with years of that turd breaking our hearts. And this guy could determine who gets home field in the World Series? You mean a pitch thrown by Jason the Marquis of Dipshittery and hit by some goon from an non-October bound AL team could decide that? Man, that's just not cool.

I'm going to be able to finally watch a baseball game from start to finish in the comfort of my own home without needing to put up with fairweather Brewer fans who don't even realize they were an American League team once and think Robin Yount only sells lemonade...and this games has gotta have motherfucking Jason Marquis in it. Boo! Boo!

viva el mustache