Motor City Cunt

Friends,

It hurts our liberal heart here at BOMM to say anything bad about the Motor City Madman, Ted Nugent. He's the Nuge. He's given us Cat Scratch Fever and Stranglehold. For a while, he had a serious mustache, one worth noting actually, but it won't be seen here. But, then he formed Damn Yankees. And years of well deserved irrelevence followed. Suddenly, he found talk radio windbaggery (which is pretty much agenda based douchebaggery) and he embraced right wing nutjob philosophy about as irresponsibly and fully as any real zealot. Yeah, he was always fuck-crazy with guns, but whatever, he was an avid hunter and (allegedly) eats all that he kills, so it isn't all bad...at least it isn't going to waste, you know. And, to be honest, maybe he was a hardcore Republican back in the day, instead of a compassionate conservative, he was the kind of conservative that's jacked up on hookers and blow. I think that's the Jim Baker vein of conservatism.

So, with that said, I do wonder if Ted Nugent, in his (maybe) threatening rant about having Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, Diane Feinstein and (I think) Barbara Boxer to suck on his machine gun, that he was actually intending on eating their bodies after he shot them in the face with his machine gun. Just curious if Ted would do that, or if he thinks it would infect him with some kind of liberal voodoo...but if he didn't eat them after he shot them, wouldn't that make him a hypocrite? So, Ted Nugent, when you going to say you're going to eat the bodies of Obama, H. Clinton, Feinstein and Boxer?

I don't think he will. And if there's one thing we here at BOMM don't stand for is hypocritical positions on hunting and eating. Either yer fer it, or agin it. No wishy-washy stuff allowed. So, with that said, Ted Nugent, I'm revoking your mustache rights, and heretofore erasing your mustache awesomeness from the record. Yes, mustachedom is kind of like being in the NCAA where victories can be erased years later because of rule violations. So, suck on that machine gun, Ted. Machine gun of mustache justice...shoots Bic bullets. So Ted Nugent, John Bolton, that one child molester, and that other guy who I can never remember are officially stricken from the mustache record, excommunicated from expressions of manliness.

Oh, and here's the video that got BOMM riled up enough to give Ted Nugent the ole fuck you.


Oh, and fuck all those people in the crowd and those other assholes on stage. And you know, Ted Nugent...goddamn, isn't he on the State Fair circuit with Eddie Money and the lead singer of Warrant? And who goes to see Ted Nugent play? Does he do a 90 minute long version of Stranglehold then the house lights come up and everybody goes home dissappointed he didn't play Cat Scratch Fever? What else could he possibly do that would be worth listening to?

VIVA EL MUSTACHE


PS....for clarifications sake, "the Nuge" referenced to the right in that link is an entirly different Nuge that I railed against above. The Nuge in the link could also be called Mr. Jaws, or the Fountain City Science Man, or J-WoW, and he is a humble gamer from Kansas City who has a bad, bad case of Cat Scratch Fever (hence his Jaws love...if you don't get it, don't worry about it, this isn't for you). So, most Nuge references made on the blog will be in reference to Jaws' Nuge, not the wacko, be-gunned fuckhead above.