BookPod

Friends,

I am no Luddite, but neither am I techno-savvy, nor the kind of kid in the 80s movies who hacks into government computers. So I have this appreciation for technology, kind of like the way most people view playing tennis. Seems kind of nice, the rules are easy and you can hit a ball over a net if it comes to that, you have nothing against it, but probably best left to other people to become devoted to it, because after all, it's tennis. But, when I saw the advertisement for the AmazonKindle, I wanted to find my best loom smashing sledgehammer, and stamp out this abomination against God, country and human decency.

What is the AmazonKindle...click the above link to see the full video, but it is essentially an iPod for books, newspapers, blogs, and magazines. So you can take this device anywhere and read your favorite books, newspapers, blogs, and magazines anywhere you want. How is this different than, say, actual books, newspapers, blogs, and magazines? It's electronic. And if you want to read several books, newspapers and magazines at one time, this way you won't have to carry a backpack with you. Instead you carry this less-than-a-pound device that's about the size of a paperback book, and access what you want, and get down to reading.

I'm still not convinced this is a good idea. When people complain about not reading, is the complaint EVER that books can't be toted around? Not once have I heard a freshman say, "I totally love reading, but books man...they're just big, you know. Can't carry them." So portability can't be a problem. Standard text based books port well. And access isn't an issue since you can get any book you want on the Internet. Maybe the benefit is instant gratification. Like someone is hopping upset "I wanna read the new Mary Higgins Clark noowwwww!!!" But, really? Voracious readers aren't typically the impatient type...even MHC fans gotta wade through a couple hundred pages of stuff to see who dun it.

And this isn't like the iPod. IPods are genius because you can have a suitcase worth of CDs in your pocket, so you can travel around and have this soundtrack to your day, like ambient music. IPods allow for music to be shared easily. Not shared as in stealing, but as in "Hey, Jeffy, heard the Wilco? Have a listen." Also, mass amounts of music has never been easily portable before, nor was the ability to buy just one song you liked.

You can't have ambient books, especially since this apparently has no sound feature. Sharing books has never been a problem, especially if you have the book in your hand. "Hey, Jeffy, read this Barry Hannah sentence. Compound hyphenated adjective! Fucking yeah!" And, as far as I can tell, you can't buy the most elegant sentences to reread for your pleasure either (though buying short stories a la cart has some potential for teachers). Ultimately, the print medium has been plenty portable since the generation after Gutenberg. I can maybe see the value of Kindle newspapers for chronic subway riders, or otherwise cramped quarters where you can't fold out that ostentatiously sized Wall Street Journal. But, maybe that just means you shouldn't read that newspaper there.

And since watching that video, I've been wracking my brain trying to think of reasons why anyone, ever, would need this. The only reason I can come up with is quick research of book. Since this thing can store hundreds of titles, and you can dog ear pages electronically, flipping back and forth through 90 books would be much easier than through a pile of books stacked around your computer. But what other possible benefits could there be? Speed reading frequent fliers might get some use out of it, maybe. Cheaper for publishers to produce the works, maybe (but that seems backwards...consumers decide product changes, not companies and if companies did control all product changes, we'd all be drinking Pepsi Clear and New Coke right now...and we know how they turned out.) I just don't see the benefit.

Environmental you say? Well, I say bullshit to that. Look at the Kindle. That's made out of plastic. What is plastic you say...that's right, an oil-based product. Oil from the ground where the Saudis, Texans, Alaskans, and Venezuelans live. What about the batteries? What about disposing those batteries? How toxic are these things? You may save some trees, but these can't be eco-friendly items because of all the mining and polluting processing the gizmo would cause. It's the standard robbing Peter to pay Paul scenario. I'm willing to bet people will buy this to save trees since that's the one environmental stance everyone seems to understand, just like "littering is bad." But those eco-friends will probably never once think about the environmental impact of all the plastic and metal doodads powering that book machine in their hands.

Also, they named it Kindle. Well, fuck you too, Amazon. I love your store, but to go so far as to suggest that the books I own are just kindling now? Well, eat it, sirs and madams. I love my books. The tactile sensation of a rough cut page. The grain of a fine paper under your fingers. The musk of an old book. The creak of the spine of a hardcover. The swish of pages turning. The ability to write notes in the margins. The thwump of closing a book at it's end. The heft of a sturdy book, and the way it fits in your hand like evolution. All of it is in the majesty of books, so how dare you Amazon, and other companies (because others are doing it too), unnecessarily try to eliminate them.

Boneheads will buy this. Just like boneheads bought Segways, and Newtons, and other electronic things that didn't improve our lives, but happen to be new and shiny. You know, stuff from The Sharper Image. But I hope these boneheads aren't Oprah fans, or another publishing consumer group that has a disproportionate effect on the industry, otherwise books, magazines, and the like could go the way of vinyl. Let's be clear, I don't think books will disappear or be relegated to afficiando status (because I think this is a stupid technology)...but every little change in technology starts in small, seemingly dumb steps, then just takes off. And I don't want that to happen? Anyone got a fast car and know where the Amazon headquarters are just so we can make sure these dumbass things don't accidentally ruin books?


VIVA EL MUSTACHE