Talkin About a Resolution (Revised!)

Friends,

I take back everything in this old post. (I moved it to the bottom of this...you can highlight the text if you want to read it). Wait, not everything. Finish thesis, pass comps, get job and continue weight loss are definite real goals for the year. I do however have a couple resolutions this year. One of them is write more, obviously, but the most interesting one, to me anyway is that I want to lie more to strangers.

Now, maybe that's a strange want, but hang with me here. Who is this Great Unwashed, and why is it that I'm usually honest with them. What's the payoff? Now, I'm not talking theft or anything illegal, but more along the lines of being a committed bullshitter. There is no reason at all why I should be honest with everyone I meet. Does the hairstylist really need to know that I used to be an elementary school teacher? Fuck no. Does the clerk at Pure Pleasure need to know who I'm buying a liberator for? Absolutely not. Why be honest during the mundane conversations you have throughout the day interacting with people of the service industry. Why not make their day more interesting? Give them something to tell their friends about if conversation happens...especially if you're never going to see them again. LIke next time I get a haircut...it might just be because I'm going on an archeological dig in the Yucatan for my antrhopology class. Or that I have a job interview at the Mayo Clinic to be their Horn Kolb Syndrome expert (which I thought was being born without arms). I guess the trick would be selling the yarn well, and not going too ridiculous.

But yeah, that's my resolution. Lie more to strangers. I think AWP would be a fun way to test this self-improvement strategy.

I've noticed a couple people have ponied up some New Year's resolutions, and it got me thinking about what I need to resolve to do this year. I think I have a pretty basic list:
1) Finish thesis
2) Pass comps
3) Get job
4) Continue weight loss

And then I noticed that they aren't really resolutions, but that's just shit I have to get done. I don't really have any options about those. It's not like "Oh, I'm going to quit ________" or "I'm going to start _________" Not that I couldn't make those. I should be writing more, I should quit biting my nails, but why focus on the shoulds? What happens when I don't make those goals? I'll feel bad, that's what. So why not just move the goal posts and call it a win, eh?


Viva el mustache!