Mustache Is Lord

In the news, there has been an effort to push the idea that the Christmas season is under attack. We at B.O.M.M feel that Christmas is commercialized and we must not ignore the figure who begat this holiday like so many Old Testament babies. That man is Jesus. This Jesus was widely believed to be a bearded man, not a mustachioed man, therefore ineligible for B.O.M.M recognition. However, new evidence has been found. Ecce mustache:

Not only is this Jesus a Superstar, but this Jesus is Mustachioed. That is not a full beard, but a mustache with beard compliment, deal with it. I would also like to point out this is a Special Edition Jesus, so I can only assume that this Jesus is even more magical. I would like give Norman Jewison and Robert Stigwood a special commendation from B.O.M.M. They are the inaugural winner of: The Deifying Mustache Award. (Congratulations Norman and Robert!) Not only has the mustache they gave this Jesus superstar qualities AND made him special...It has apparently made him impervious to the crown of thorns. No bleeding, no pain on his Jesus face, and it seems to give Jesus super strength, as he is showing no signs of strain from carrying what could only be the cross. How is this possible? Mustache is manly. Even lesser mustaches like Jesus is sporting here is manly (again, we at B.O.M.M do not discriminate on grounds of genetics for mustache is beautiful in all forms). This is a bad-ass, superstar, fuck-you-up, Man-Jesus thanks to the mustache. Not a coincidence. Want proof? Can't deal with this manly Son of God? Check this out:


This Jesus is clearly effected by the cross, the crown of thorns, and looks to be in some pain. He has a full beard. Mustachioed Jesus...No worries, mate. Cruicify him twice, bring it, he don't care, that crown don't mean shit to him. Full beard Jesus...Weak, bloody, probably wants to know why his dad forsook him. Why, I would have to say that this Jesus isn't very manly at all. Look at the way his chest area just yielded to the whip. Superstar Mustache Jesus must have repelled the whips with his aura of testosterone, just glanced off him like a force field...Nay, a man field, brought to you by the power of mustache. Therefore, Mustache is Power, Mustache is Manly, and Jesus, with mustache, is the most powerful being ever. Remember that this holiday season.

Vive el Mustache!

(and Feliz Navidad)