ホームラン!!!!!!

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Taaaaaaguchiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Oh goodness. Oh my. Lemme catch my breath. Whoo. So Motherfucking Taguchi!!

Okay, let me explain. For those who don't know, So Taguchi is a bench play for St. Louis who comes on late in games just for defense and speed. He's been pretty useless with the bat so far this year. When StL signed him about five years back, he was going to be our super fourth outfielder or start in LF...he is StL's first Japanese player as well, but was a total bust at first. He had to go to the minor leagues at first to learn to hit MLB pitching. He was just overmatched. And he's scuffled around since, being a competent hitter, but no one will ever confuse the Gooch as a player of immense talent.

Now, he was brought into tonight's game in the bottom of the eighth as a defensive replacement for one of the Cardinals homerun hitters Chris Duncan. So then had to lead off the top of the ninth against the superstar Mets closer Billy Wagner. (Billy has a helluva a story as well, see, he's a lefty who throws 100 mph, but he used to be right-handed back in high school...but he broke that arm and couldn't pitch, so he taught himself to throw lefty, and turns out he can bring it left handed). The Cardinals battled the whole game and thanks to some shoddy Mets pitching they managed to stay in the game and the Gooch game up with the game tied. And So Motherfucking Taguchi hit a homerun to give the Cards the lead. StL goes on to win 9-6 and tie the series at one game apiece. Hoorah!

Another interesting note about So Taguchi, I have to name my first born after him. You see, I was at Lebowskifest and drinking with my friend Sam in a bowling alley (Emily was there too). The song "Horse with No Name" came on, and I knew America sang it, but I was convinced Neil Young sang that song with America or maybe he was part of America, like how he was part of Buffalo Springfield or the like. I was so certain, I bet Sam the naming rights to my firstborn. Now, I have to name my first kid So Taguchi Johnson (Sam later changed his mind so the name will be So Garfield Johnson....if a girl, I promised by uncle Gayle it would be Donna Blasingame Johnson [another story there too]).

So in honor of this momentus occasion in the life of So Taguchi, I am awarding him the inaugural BOMM Honoray Mustache for MLB Bench Players Award. Congratulations, So!












VIVA EL BIRDOS Y VIVA EL MUSTACHE!!!