Rutger Hauer & Teen Sex

Friends,

I got a "Cut Throat Mocha" from the Fillin Station today. I ordered it without really knowing what it was, but it turns out it's a mocha coffee drink with some kind of hot pepper thrown in there too. I'm guessing cayenne pepper. The barista was being cutesy with me about how he likes to make things real spicy, but when I drank it, it wasn't nothing.

I felt like Rutger Hauer in that movie Blind Fury. In that movie, Hauer plays a blind guy who knows kung fu, and he goes to this burrito restaurant for some delicious food. But lo, there are street toughs inside, and said toughs decide to screw with the blind guy by dumping a bunch of hot sauce on his burrito, thinking that'll get that blind guy but good. Turns out, that hot sauce ain't shit to Hauer because he's been living off even spicier food in the jungles of South Asia. So he makes fun of the toughs, they try to beat up him, but he whoops their ass instead. I didn't want to fight the barista, but I'm just saying...that hot drink wasn't anything at all.

Here's a clip from Blind Fury:


And on a completely unrelated note, I have to point of this news item I saw:

One in Four Teen Girls Have an STD

I suppose the underlying message here is that you just can't trust teenage girls. They are dirty, conniving sneaks having rampant unprotected sex and are trying to break their daddy's hearts. Teenage boys however, which were somehow not mentioned in the study, are bastions of purity and hope. They can have all the sex they want, so go on and get some, boys...apparently you're immune to these dirty girls, or you are only sleeping with your attractive teachers. But in conclusion, let us never forget that teen girls having sex is bad, bad, bad. Papas, lock up your daughters...let's break out the chastity belts and bibles and have some good old fashioned Victorian repression. Yee-haw.

Now, whose to blame for this? Gotta be somebody to blame right? So let's jerk our knees and get out blaming wand out, eh? Maybe those celebrity snatch barers have corrupted the minds of our youthful girls. Maybe it's the movies that made teen sex so much fun and exciting. Maybe its sexual education because teaching abstinence, and keeping safe sex materials away from students would never result in this startling number. Maybe I'm to blame for running a blog that occasionally promotes mustache wearing, which in turns makes more men sexually irresistible. Maybe its the rampant sexualization of clothes and dolls that set up poor sexual role models (I am a little serious about this one...Bratz dolls are fucking disturbing). Maybe it's every swarthy, skeezy, pervert guy who has ever seriously thought "I love high school girls because I keep getting older and they stay the same age" or "If there's grass on the field, then play ball" or "Hey, you ever ridden in a Camaro before?"

Personally, I think a note of congratulations need to be given to the 3 out of 4 teen girls who don't have an STD as a way to stay positive. So, way to go 75% of all teen girls. Congratulations on having no or only safe sex. Keep up the good work.

viva el mustache