Not Available at Alice's

this is a kiwano fruit, also known as a horned melon. it is horned, no doubt. if you threw it at dry wall, it would probably stick in it.

what does it look like on the inside?

yes, looks like a pumpkin filled with slime.

and the taste? and how the hell do you eat it? well, we had to look it up. essentially, you take one end, gently squeeze it for it to launch a slime-and-seed nugget into your mouth. next, you suck the slime through your front teeth to separate out the seed. swallow the slime, spit out the seed. viola!

it doesn't taste like anything except slime. according to emily, it tastes vaguely of aloe vera and an over-ripe kiwi. it was just slime to me. not being a fan of slime, i did not like it so we threw it out without trying anymore of it.

however, before throwing it all out, i squeezed all the seeds out of one half of the thing so you get an idea of what it looks like to try to eat it.

viva el mustache