January 2, 2009

Shitter Decorum


Just had my hours cut at my shitty job (only 2 a week, but a crucial 2 the way I see it) so what free moments I have, I need to devote to finding a new, hopefully more palatable job. So I think I'll just be posting here Sundays for BMS then on Mondays & Tuesdays if I feel the urge for it. Rest of the time I have, I really need to find this oft-sought better job. Good times.

But at this shitty job, I spend a lot of time in the bathroom. Not because I'm crapping on the government dime, like The Ghost of Nostradamustache was so keen on doing at the State Hospital. See, you have to go each time you go on break because you need an empty bladder to be on those phones. If nature calls mid-relay, well sir, you're fucked. No relief could be had for 15 minutes, so you got to pee dance it the best you can, or dry to go into each stint on the floor with dry plumbing.

So, I've had a lot of time to think about various bathroom problems.

Like when the urinal is broke (which is way too often), and you have to pee in the stall, do you need to close and lock the door? Because you're just urinating, and the world of men bathroom's have decreed urinals don't get doors...so what do you do? Me, I close the door. No reason to waste a perfectly good open door, I say.

Another thing, the other day I was in there address the urinal, and this guy walks out of the one stall. He goes to the sink. First thing he does is wash out his mouth. Now, he was in the stall alone so there's no Larry Craig action going on, as far as I know. So, what the hell was that guy doing?

viva el mustache


Luke said...

I wouldn't exactly describe myself as a man's man, but I wouldn't exactly describe myself as feminine either, but I have to say that the stuff that goes on in men's bathrooms makes me kind of sick. It's like men use the 90 seconds they are in the bathroom to act disgusting, and then leave.

Jorge said...

I'm usually a stall person, regardless of the nature of my actions. I like the privacy. I also like the reading. Writing above urinals is usually sub par and not well thought out.
I hate when I go into an empty bathroom and decide to use the urinal and some guy comes in and chooses the urinal right next to me when there's 10 other urinals. So I just use the stall whenever possible. Sometimes I even fake the need for a stall just so I can wait for one to open up so I don't look weird standing around when there's a urinal open.
Also, going to the bathroom on the work's dime, be it governmental or otherwise, is always a pure joy. I used to wait to go until I got to work at Walgreens just so I could go there and be paid for it.

Emily said...

I'm with Jorge on reading bathroom stalls. The women's bathroom in Hangar 9 in Carbondale was filled with jewels of drunken comments.